TAG, before you leave. It won't hurt.
Number of Visits: since 190309
& let me just say that
You may know me better by readin' my blog, but that does not mean you know me best still.

Let's cut this short.
I'm cool.
Im not an optimist neither am I a pessimist but a realist.
DebbyRS, ☮♥(:
Four words for you:
My Blog's So Me.

W/ ♥.

So, hello readers.

Today Loyang finishes at 10.30. East View too. Punggol. KC.
Dunman finishes at 2. Didnt really celebrate teachers' day. We only gave a surprise wish and so on.

Well, so far exams are not really okay. I think I screw Sci cause didnt study th systems topic at all. Only glance thru it. There are like 3 categories on them. Th sperm thingy is the hardest and it's like almost 10 fcking marks. Darrel laughed when I said tht. Gahh. Maybe Ill flunk everything :/ Oh no. I hope not!

Kind of went to Elias Park w Siti♥, Syazanaaaa♥, & new friend, Darrel. Idk how to spell. He was cute, as in reaction-wise too. Then Siti 'abandoned' us so I waited w Syazana♥ for 89. Terlepas th first bus. Syazana♥ said my reaction was funny :/ Then had to wait 12 mins more. Tkpetkpe, kawan SETIA lah kn. Haha. Stop it uh.

Proceeded to Debby♥'s hse. Bnyk org jgak uh pat sane : Amirah, Fatin Atiqah♥, Asyura♥, Aleena, Saiful♥, Syahiran♥, Shahrizal, Shahril, Syaffiq♥, Deb's small bros and Syaffiq's EPPS friends. Majority of them didnt puase but I did. Iman kuat la kn ^.^ I didnt get to go PVPS ): They met Cikgu Nailul. Not fair mannnnnxz. Mr Noor too. Only said hi to Cikgu Nailul thru Sab♥'s sms. LOL. Sch uh end so laaaaaate. Nvmnvm, next time.

I must tell myself not to let you down anymore but to carry your name w pride.

Oh no, it's past twelve. But well,
Happy belated Birthday, Hudaaaa!
Dah lady ehk skg, haha. So yea, I wish you th best in life, love.
May our friendship last. Loveyoulots!
;♥

__________________________________________________________________________________

I saw motorcycles & I remembered riding on one w you, wearing th helmet you bought. But Ive no idea where you are now. You kind of vanish into thin air. So did Annie. So did Jeeha. So did Qayyum. So did him.

Went to eat at Swensens today w Azwan then went to geylang bazaar. First time this year. Bought another one.

Brisk walk thingy's this Sunday. I wanna gooooooo but can't. Syazana's not gg.
Plus, Ive skipped mdarasah for, like, 5 wks ? Hee. Peace eh.

Cross country's on a fasting day. Wht nonsense is tht ? -.-

Okay nonsense 8D
230809

Anw, we buka-ed at DTE. We arrived quite late then were given 6 kurma-s. Aft tht, walked ard and went to arcade. It was 'chaotic' there, we kind of camwhored. Okay, tht doesnt sound like me. It was good (:

Otw hme, saw M & Fauzie. Wanted to say hi to Fauzie but didnt. Terserempak w Syaffiq and he even called his mother to ask if I could come over which I did. Haha. So yeah. Today, walked to EM otw to sch behind F. Well, fyi. Was kind of late, but still had time to sit down at th parade grd there. Yesterday, we were late and Siti really freaked out whereas Im still cool 8D Typical Siti♥.

It doesn't feel th same now, somehow.

Today's netball training was physical so we didnt train except for shooting. Instead, did hw. Then, took 293 to TM w Syazana♥ for awhile. Basil was there, and he keep saying 'jumpe lagi' when I didnt even see him. &, Sorry Siti♥! I really am. Goshxz.

Ohyeaaaaaaaaaa, saw Mdm Waheeda. Syazana♥ & I was like directly behind her. Idk whether she saw me, even if she did, she might not recognise aft all these years. Didnt have th courage to say hi when Syazana♥ suggestd to.

Two more days to common test & right now, Im in deep shit. Also, two more days to Huda darlin's birthday.

Till here.

It's been 40 days Girls day out - only at Whitesands :/
Well, anw check out some of th pictures. [Lazy to resize]

Credits to Huda darla







Okay so, we went to Whitesands to 'study' at th library. I ended up forgetting to bring th compre and so on. Instead, made use of Huda's webcam and so on. They kind of camwhore & th pooh undies is so cute & funny! Didnt post it here though ^.^

Planned to go T1 but no time. They went to my hse. Otw hme, I saw this lizard and of course, freaked out. We ran, then a coackroach was running past, they ran, and ran again when they saw a snail. HAHA -.-
Fazril called, we'll buke together sometime & maybe go cycling w th others. Figured it be fun.
Thanks Fazril & Abg Aleef for keeping update w me yeah. Appreciate it much [;

Didnt go mosque to sembahyang but went to Deb hse. We laughed like alot. Couldnt concentrate, well, it may be sinful. But at least, we sembahyang terawih which is not compulsory okaay.

Planning to buke w Hud & Deb tmrw if training ends late. We'll see. Ill end w I love Debby & Huda~ [others too]

Here I am, typing w it. Today, at last, I had enough courage to open it, explore it. It may be because they were there. But still. Th wallpaper popped up, so big. I kind of expcted sth like tht. However, that's kind of all, nth else. I was expecting more, like a note. Well, it may be crazy, but who knows ? Whtever it is, thanks, thanks alot for giving me this. I like it, I love it, but most importantly I love th person who gave it to me. Can you hear me ? Thank you & I love you. I keep wondering, aft seeing all th things you bought, had you sensed this ? Or you just bought them cause you feel like to ? Or you somehow kind of knew but didn't have time to give it before all of this ? In th picture in here, you were smiling, but was it forced or was it genuine ? However, I know, really deep inside, you were lonely, your heart would ache whenever you see other happy families. I know. So, are you happy now tht everything's has put to an end for you ? For tht, Im happy too for you dont have to suffer alone anymore. But you left me missing you so bad, so sad. And I still try my very best to stay strong which I can say I succeeded for people never see the deepest side. Wht saddens me is not cause of wht happened, but cause I never found th chance to really SAY how much I loved you deep inside, minus those fake expression tht I put on which showed I didnt care. You can forgive me for tht, don't you ? I never showed my feelings esp for those kinds. It's weird how th way we are related, th memories between us is so little ; how can tht be ? Th other thing is, I wanted you to tell me sth, anything, before all this, to at least let me know about it, if not, at least tell me you loved me for it's been years since you said those words. Yes, years for you never did & so did I except for your bday on Jan to which you didnt reply. Its such a simple wish yet it isn't fulfilled. And it will never be. If I could wish for anything right now, I want to be a three year old again when I would say 'I love my HAPPY FAMILY.' And then Ill mean it and do whtever I can to make it true.♥

5 days to Huda's birthday! It's been a month plus. And, tomorrow's th start of fasting mth. Yet, you're not here w us & will not be.

Yesterday was Thursday.
There was floorball training but didn't play ; had to help for career guidance thing. I'm sorry, floorballers, if you're angry aye. I figured training wasn't fun w/o me, right ? Haha. Okay whtever. Aft sch, I shoot nets first. &, thanks Fiona for waiting yeah (:

So, mainly it was th five of us helping - Atika, Syazana, Dira, Jasmine, Hui Qi plus Syazana, Siti & Vivian. We pasted notices, shiftd chairs/tables/benches, wrap stuffs, arranged the hall etc. We joked alot. At one point, I couldnt seem to tear th scotch tape off properly cause Ive been cutting it randomly whenever I cant find th end. If you get wht I mean anw. So, Dira & I have been trying to tear & tear but th shape is retarded. Haha. They made fun of me w my 'cheap' scotchtape -.-It was fun, yeah. There was a bball match for th boys during tht time, vs Raffles. Aft all tht, played bball for awhile w Dira, Eilynn, Rohaizad(?) & this guy. Then, Uncle Yam fetchd me home.

When ppl asked you how she is, whether she's coping, you said yeah, she's alright, she's living like normal again cause it's true, for it's wht you see. But, do you think it's true as in you believe it ?

Ohyea, Wednesday, in th bus was so funny. HAHAHA. Let me add on, and digusting.

Anw, today had training. For th superman thing, I srsly couldnt concentrate. Laughed alot. Couldnt help it. Th sound effects are like really funny. Made by, well, as kinf of expected - Siti. Eilynn also joined. Training was good today. Siti kept comparing -.-

During th fasting mth, we were told to do half th training & tht meant running 5 rounds ? :B But we can stop if we're really tired. Urh, Idk.

Aft tht, Syazana, Siti & I went to th tm int there & ate at Macd & went home. Met Deb at her hse & I actually had an 'accidental' nap there. Im gg to eat soon, then maybe read th storybook, talk otp & then sleep early.
Okay, Im like posting wht Ive been/will be doing/do these two days -.-"

Exams are coming! And, I srsly dk th exact dates are etc. >.<

Ive to improve on my shooting!

So, Selamat Berpuasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [:

Let's post about today.

First thing: One thing makes me super duper pissed of. Where's th justice ? You think you're always right when for some points, you're clearly wrong &, we know ourselves better, so don't judge anyhow. I'm sick of your sarcasms & accuses / lies. Therefore, decrease my 'likeness' in tht subject.

Ms Luar didn't come so we had free period. Spent time reading Sixu's library book which is like due tomorrow.

Kind of requested: Okay, so during Geog, I kind of 'memalukan(?)' someone's MODESTY.
Syaff-ana is sick & so are others too today. Like seriously sick, I mean.

Stayed back to decorate Malay class w Syazana, Nadhirah & Sabrina. I did tht whole board myself okay. Nice or not Idc. Well, anw, we had fun. Then, went home w Syazana.

Aft tht, met Huda & Deb, ate at KFC etcetc. Terserempak w Hazril too.

I realised my post are like so short w/o elaboration. I guess Im lazy. So till here.
Congrats to Seng Kang Sec girls for getting first runner up for Nationals.

I can do better
There's nth much to post. At least, nth I can think of right now.

Flat/house hunting: 700+, 500+, East Vale, Elias Green etc.

Next exams coming soon. Come oooooooon, Ive to revise, like seriously. I always procrastinatexz!

Well, I guess tht's all ?

As time pass by, people stop thinking about it as if it never happened. They thought everything would be okay by now as th saying goes,'time will heal'. How more ignorant can you be ?

I miss you so very bad that I think Im gg insane. Why?

"I just wanted to say ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him so much."
Are you touched ? Wht if you're in her shoes ? Can you ever imagine tht ?
[Did not post Siti's pic even w her permission cause I uphold her pride ^.^]

Is it wrong for me to be angry ? I would not give up nor lie. I put in effort, and trying to put on a strong front but for a small part, I failed to. So, did you get th full story ? If yes, do you even believe it ? It's disappointing if you don't.

School was okay. Woke up late when Siti actually planned to meet earlier. Gahh, Im so tired these days. Took 28 to school & saw Sabrina kejar-ing the bus but she took 293 I think. So kanchong, haha. But she said she looked cutee.

During CME, Maria really scotch-taped her mouth when she was 'tegur-ed' talked too much. Then, when Jonathan was instructd to take over lesson when he was talking, he came up. But instead said sth like, "This is how you spell resilience - r e s i l i e n s e. The class is noisy, so I shall call some students to take over me cause they're naughty. Mrs Wee, please." Ha-ha.
Ohyea, I didnt expect Sang Hyun has tht perspective. LOL.

I actlly vomitted four times during netball. Gahh.

Met Huda aft tht. She wantd to return this CD. &, Syaffiq was at home alone and we said things to scare him. He's a scaredy cat srsly despite being 'tall' & all.

Deb's previous maid went home today. Couldnt send her.

Why do people tend to leave without a word, w/o a trace of hints ? All I need is your words of warning, tht's all.

At last, I can sleep early today. So, goodnight. Yesterday ate at Long John Silver aft school w Siti, Deb & Huda. There was this Bedok View guy & almost all girls were checking him out. He was sitting th table in front from where I was. He was loud, and his words are irritating. He's hot, but he doesn't have to attract attention tht way.

I'm not into relationships, esp aft wht happened, wht more reason is there ?

Today we combined class for HMT period. It was fun, to me. Grouped w Harita, Hidayah, Ryhan & Syazwan. I mean, this project thingy is much more better than normal classes where we often get scolded, so yea. & my group won. Like duh. Okay, wtv Aliah.

Iknow you're sincere, but it aint possible. How many times must I tell you ?

I must improve this Friday. I really must. & shit, Math's test tomorrow. Okay, Im gg to last min revise right now. Till here :D

Where are you ? How are you ? Can you see me, or hear me ? I miss you so much, do you even know tht ? Why am I holding it in so bad ? Why can't I let it go and let people discover th soft side ? Why am I repeating th same thing aft wht happened ?

Oh no, floorball's tomorrow ; should I goooooooooooooooooooo ? :/
Happy Belated 44th Birthday Singapore~!♥


Plans are like chaotic.
Friday night went to Woodlands to rewang.
Saturday - kendarat. Yea, it was fun. I get to meet rarely seen paternal relatives. Abg Shahrom married this German girl whose malay name is Nur'ain. Won't elaborate further tho'. But yea, it was seriously fun ^.^

I always wondered how different it'd be if you were there with us.

Sunday went to Oasis @ Elias & Livia showflat.
We didn't go to Marina cause partly we were lazy. It's far to add on. Somemore, so many people. So, Qama, Debby and th others went. Instead, Huda & I went whitesands to grab a bite, Ikea, Giant & courts. Haha, srsly nth to do. But it was okay la. Wanted to catch a movie but not enough time for Ive to go Changi Beach.

Met Aisyah at whitesands w her friends - her & boyf, Hidayah, Azwan + four more guys. I think they are addictd to smoking. They were like smoking everywhere. Many things happened. And, Azwan seriously didnt have to do tht. Now, Im in a mess.

I think it's because boys have raging hormones.

Monday didnt go to Science ctr. So yea, alot of plans cancelled. Thus, I spent time doing hw th whole day. Decided to go there next wkend. I cant wait. I watched th NDP'09 preview. Saw Nafiz shaking hands w S R Nathan, fyi.

Let's end this w funny things.
-Were taking picture in th bus and th bus driver stared & keep staring even when we looked at him so I kind of wave a little and said hi so he looked away -.-
-Ikea: We exited th 'illegal' way then this guys was saying to his friend sth like , " Org laen tk bagy masok eh, tpy kalau pompan boleh." So paisey.
-I accidentally touched a guy's butt who's in front of me.
etc etc.

Deep inside, I cant take it - it's too much, too fast. Sometimes, I cant even believe it has happened. I cant accept it. However, it's all bottled up inside so tht no one worries

I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is.
-Vladimir Nabokov

National Day 'celebration' in sch wasn't happenin'. Had a short netball practice. Then, Siti, Syazana, Zarifah, Roze & I went to food culture at C [] to eat. I just found out Roze had similar taste to me :/

Terserempak w quite a number of people - Huda & Nasyitah's sisters. And Mdm Renu too. I was like Oh no. I remembered getting scolded by her cause of Deb when she quit netball and join hockey. And now, I'm a netball player.

Ohyea I board th same bus as Fadzril and friends. I was like quiet th whole journey which I seriously don't know why. I still remember tht 4 years back. :B Was wht Siti said true ? Urh.

Slacked w Huda, Deb, Qamalrul. We, excluding, Rul, were seriously wild. Did stupid stuffs. Sometimes they just annoy me w tht -.-"
&,Syaffiq is so funny. And, his haircut too.

Fazril is booking out tomorrow. I forgot how he looked like w his bald head. I bet he will be muscular. Okay, wthhhh.

We're gg to have a long 'holiday' but mine's packed w activities. I need to find time for revisionxz.

I'm able to sms now[; Yesterday is a crappy school day cause of two teachers.
We were scolded when we were actually pronouncing th 'difficult' scientific word to each other. Lame enough ?

Then, we were lectured for folding arms, saying tht we looked so arrogant, like we know everything and tht we do not pay attention. When we actually did. I even could ans her Qs correctly. Wht nonsense excuses. Srsly piss me off. Everything we do, we get scolded no matter quiet or not. I dont bother anymore.

As for today,
watched basketball match so I skipped art which is good, for I haven't complete those three art pieces. It let me escape detention I guess. Big congrats to C'Div for winning National Championship - girls ; boys - National 2nd runner up.

I didn't officially say tht. Why has it led to such complications ? But it was kind of obvious, wasn't it ? Seriously, I dont care at all, but it spoils my mood.

Should I go to Marina Bay with friends ? I should. I hope th other outing don't clash. Please.

Maybe I'll update tomorrow.

Jangan nak prasan uh sia.

Till here.

Before I forget, tag with a name unless you don't have one or I'll ignore you. For wht you want to tag when you don't even want your identity to be known right ? -.-

A thousand of emotions were exploding, a thousand memories flood through. I wanted to say a million words ; I wanted to shake you so hard that you go,"What !? I need to rest. Dont disturb me." But it didnt go tht way. All I could afford to do was standing rooted to th ground, static, calling out your name softly over & over again as if in a trance.

From A to Z, I remember absolutely clearly wht happened. I remember th steps I took, th emotions I felt, their expressions, th ambience, th place. Every single thing.

Wht about those meetings we planned ?


I may not grow up to be a wonderful person you want me to. So, tell me are you disappointed ? Or you love me so much tht you just accept me for how I behave and tht it doesnt bother you ? But, why is it tht I cant hear your response ?

No, it's not possible. It's too fast, too sudden. In a blink of an eye. Just like tht. I cant take it.

No matter how fcking hard I cried for you, never mind th pain, I know you'll never be by my side. Ever.
In th end, it's th things & memories we hold on to, holding it on so tight, afraid it would disappear too, as if holding on for dear life.

One by one, they went, leaving me so cold.

It plays like a film. An automatic film. Those tht plays w/o my permission. It just goes on. Always. And it leaves it's only audience, traumatic. Why is it always tht way ?

My thoughts are bursting. I cant hold it in anymore. So there you go. Everything come from my thoughts, my own words. Copyright, yea. Unless you're really stupid or sth and have no brains. You know who you are. Oh yea, so much for hiatus.

Keep my tagboard alive. If you think it's wasting your time, then fine. I dont give a hoot too.

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