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Let's cut this short.
I'm cool.
Im not an optimist neither am I a pessimist but a realist.
DebbyRS, ☮♥(:
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so, where ?
Posted on: Friday, May 14, 2010
Posted at: 5/14/2010 10:42:00 PM
Posted at: 5/14/2010 10:42:00 PM
Sorry to you, but Im gna post a boringly longish headache-y feelingly post now..
It's just one of th period of time when Im feeling v down. It's been bothering me so much.
I seriously have no idea what to feel at all. By right, you're my forte of comfort. Yet there's a widening gap between us. You say to be frank, everything but when I do, I get those same words - it's okay, overcome it. It's not hard. Well, it doesn't help, instead make it all worse. It's the same old words, along the lines, no sense of genunine understanding. You dont seem to know its only that which I long for, I dont care about luxury. It doesnt always make one happy. But sadly, youre blinded.
Even my feelings are not respected, theyre being shunned, but Ive th right to, I guess. I mean, Ive never strongly object to the major decisions you have made that affects me. Maybe its my quietness that makes you think Im strong enough to overcome this too, by myself. Well, it's alrdy too much for me to take it all in 'ever so easily' like I did. Truth is, Im weak. Im surprised too 'cause I always and very much want to hold a strong poise.
And when I try to salvage it all, th response I get is that Im being ridiculous. When I turn to few others, they say Im not. I mean, Im not who make small things look big. Im not being ridiculous, this way, am I ? So how ? Im leaving it to be, and I know we're drifting apart but, you just won't listen to me. There's nth I can do. It's not a healthy relationship. &, I dont like it at all. It affects my future, my everything.
So, im telling you people now that Im sick and exhausted of experiencing th ordeal that is repeated over & over in my mind. Plus what's happening now. Of course it always does - each nighttime, often alone in my room. I guess I cant take it anymore so here I am. It's overwhelming me so much, the feeling's ever so suffocating.
And then you, you disappeared w/o any warning. Taking away th comfortness / solitude and the security that I seek for and need so much now. I realised you understand me like no one else, there's that special feeling of peacefulness whenever I approach you, to know that everything is alright even for a split second. Yknow what ? I need you now. Im going crazy over missing you. Insane, w/o your presence and love. So, Im gg bonkers now 'cause youre just not here to tell me, guide me. Right now, I think I cant get over this. No siblings and all, no one to turn to. Ive great friends, but there're reasons. So, i. just. need. you.
but deep inside, I know you'll never be there. Hi, im lost. I need my permanent pillar of strength.
Thanks alot Siti, altho' it's only for a bit.
Yes, I still look on the bright side everyday. In fact, I always do whenever Im out w any of you, right ? (:
For what I wna affect you guys' mood, righttt. Hehe.
Hm, so many views per day but you ppl dont tag, but well Idc. Just stay anonymous uh.
Will update my days in next post. Im so sleepy for staying up late these 3 days. I wna sleep longlong like pig k. Night.
I so badly want to dream tonight, a v long one. of you.
it's the only way. maybe th only one to lessen further all this.